Jupiter：这是一位年轻女性的里程碑

编者按：现居仰光的Jupiter，是一位“95后”掸族和印度混血女孩，来自掸邦东枝——一座美丽的山中小城。她的原名叫Nang Mhwe Ngin Seng，但大家都叫她Jupiter。在仰光电影学校学习期间，Jupiter制作的毕业作品——纪录短片《不像父亲那样》是一位掸族青年的自述，讲述自己将拥有与吸毒的父亲截然不同的人生。此外，她也曾作为副导演参与琅勃拉邦电影节策划的“湄公河2030”剧情短片缅甸部分的拍摄和制作。

2020年，在她参与“澜湄之眼”计划初期，曾决定前往掸邦南部拍摄掸族支系Tai Loi人的村庄。就在她出发前的两个星期，第二波新冠疫情的在缅甸爆发，平均每天新增确诊人数破千。仰光与外部的公共交通被阻断了，大选前夕，仰光城区之间的交通也被阻隔了。Jupiter无法前往掸邦南部，甚至无法回到东枝，与家人一起度过点灯节和掸族新年。她不得不临时调整自己的计划，以至于我们今天得以看到这部纪录片《生活依旧》。

Jupiter的转向是自然而然地发生的。这一年，几乎全世界的每个人都主动或被动地对自身与周遭人事的关系进行了重新思考和认识。在这种情况下，《生活依旧》以一个平凡又不凡的年轻女性的自省，为我们的时代写上一个注脚。这是一次罕见而珍贵的自我剖析，它迎接了黑暗，也释放出光明。

一开始，我打算做一部关于掸族Tai Loi支系的纪录片，这个支系住在缅甸掸邦南部的勐奈地区。然而，新冠疫情的爆发让我没能前往拍摄Tai Loi人，他们的文化、生活方式以及他们作为少数人如何面对在这个国家的挑战。作为一个年轻的掸族女孩，我觉得还欠自己和自己民族一部讲我们的故事的纪录片。

在即将出发拍摄时，仰光被封锁了，我一直困在那里。而且，在这个大城市的每个角落，新冠患者的数量每天都有增加。新冠病毒导致一切都被暂停或推迟了，一些活动也必须在最小范围内进行。这对我们的电影业伤害巨大。

今年11月，仰光第二轮封城期间，我呆在公寓里，所有的飞机或公共汽车都停了，无法离开离开这个生病的城市。我非常想念母亲、家人，以及我的家。在过去每年11月的点灯节，我们会在家里点上许多灯，向老人和父母致意。这让我更想念他们。点灯节时，每个角落都会挂着柔和而温暖的黄色小灯，空气中弥漫着孩子们奔跑的喜悦。这可以让我们意识到自己的归属和存在的根源。对我们来说是一个多么幸福的时刻！

然而，在这个黑暗的大城市（仰光）里，这个艰难的时刻，我所能做的就是带着那种归属感更多地思考他们，思考我们所共度过的时光，最重要的是对自己的角色提出疑问。是什么把我们带到这里来的？经历了艰难和欢乐，我们依然紧密相连。怎样算有一个家庭？

我知道每个人都有故事。我们都有过去，我们的过去让我们成为今天的样子。过去，我很难说清自己生命中最想要的是什么。在经历了隔离、孤独、无尽思绪以及人生的悖论之后，我终于意识到自己一直渴望的是一个幸福的家庭，一个我从未拥有过的家庭。那些和家人有过艰难时刻的人理解我并且知道有一个破碎的家庭是怎么回事。它（家庭）伤害着我们的内心，但我们仍与它同在并试图让它带着一线希望、一段对所有人都更好的时光持续下去。

如今我长大了，走了很多路，遇到过很多人，并且和来自各个阶层的人交谈过，我得说这一切让我学到许多，并有了属于自己的经历。当然，我不是唯一走过这些路的人。有很多人和我道路相仿。然而，过去就是过去。节目必须继续。我们必须为更好的未来而活。

我相信每个人都应该得到幸福，尤其是在这样的艰难时期。无论是什么让你成为现在的你，无论你做过什么，我们仍然有义务去建设一个更好的未来。这是我们每个人的责任。幸福在我们心中。但如果没有意识到这一点，我们便不能拥有它。所以像这样的时刻也是非常关键的。

在疫情期间拍摄一部影片是一个挑战，我必须说的是，制作一部纪录片会需要我们去与人接触和做采访。因此，在封城期间，我用尽了力所能及的资源，与我身边的人一起，收集了所有的素材。虽然出去拍摄是很难的，但我保证了安全，最重要的是我没有把任何负担转嫁给那些帮助我的人。如果没有他们的善意和贡献，我是无法完成的。只要友谊机会，我一定要对他们表示感谢。这不仅是一部关于我自己的纪录片，也是一位年轻女性的里程碑——她已经拥有一种能力，对自己的生活进行完整的审视。

Editor's note: Jupiter is a "post-95" Shan- Hindi girl living in Yangon currently. She comes from Taunggyi, a beautiful mountain city in Shan state. Her original name was Nang Mhwe Ngin Seng, but we call her Jupiter. During her study at Yangon Film School, Jupiter's graduation film "Not Like My Father" is a self-report of a Shan youth who tells us that he will have a different life from his father who is addicted to drugs. In addition, as an associate director, Jupiter had participated in the shooting and production of Myanmar part of the short film collection "Mekong 2030" planned by the Luang Prabang Film Festival.

During her participation in the "Lancang-Mekong Vision" program in 2020, she decided to go to Southern Shan state to shoot villages of Tai Loi people, a branch of the Shan people. But just two weeks before her departure, Myanmar faced a second wave of a new outbreak of the Covid-19, with the number of confirmed cases increasing by more than 1000 a day on average. Yangon was under lockdown soon. Public transport between Yangon and the outside world was blocked, and on the eve of the general election, traffic among blocks of Yangon was also blocked. Thus, Jupiter couldn't go to the Tai Loi village, or even go back to Taunggyi to spend the Thadingyut Festival and the Shan new year with his family. She had to adjust her plan temporarily, so we can see the documentary "But...Life Goes On."

Jupiter's topic changed naturally. This year, almost everyone in the world actively or passively reconsidered and recognized the relationship between themselves and the surrounding world. In this case, "But...Life Goes On" wrote down a note for our times with the introspection of an ordinary and extraordinary young woman. This is a rare and precious self-analysis, and it happens to be a film. It faced directly the darkness and also released the light.

At first, I planned to make a documentary about the Shan minority called Tai Loi, that still live in Southern Shan State, Mong Nai region. Unfortunately, Covid broke out and I was not able to roll out the plan and shoot Tai Loi people, their culture, lifestyle, and how they live now with challenges for all struggling minorities in this country. As a young Shan woman, I still owe a documentary to myself and to my people in order to tell our story.

I’ve been getting stuck in Yangon since it started, and, day after day the number of Covid patients is still increasing in every corner of this big city. As we all know, Covid pauses the operation and causes delaying to some, or minimizing all kind of activities. It hurts the film industry here the most.

During the second wave lockdown, I stay in my apartment as there’s no plane nor bus to travel, to get out of this sicken city. So I miss my mom, family members, and my home all the time. I thoughts about them more at the Thadingyut festival in November when our people illuminate homes with lanterns and pay respect to seniors and their parents. There’s soft yellow warm light hanging in every corner and the children running with joy that filled in the air. It makes us realize where we deeply belonged and the root of our existence. What a blessing moment for all of us！

But here in this big dark city, in this hard time, all I can do is thinking a lot more about them with a sense of belonging, the bond we share through the time, and most importantly, I question myself about my role. What took us here? Through the hard time and the joys, we are still connecting. What does it take to have a family?

I know we all have a story to tell. We all have the past, the history that has shaped us who we are today. It was quite hard for me to answer what I want the most in my life in the past. After struggling with isolation, loneliness, never-ending thoughts, and the paradox of life, I’ve come to sense that I’ve been yearning for a happy family, the one that I never have. Those who have been through a very hard time with family understand me and know what it takes to have a broken family. It is still hurting us inside, but still, we carry on with it and let it live on with a glimpse of hope, a better time for all of us.

Now I grew up, traveled many miles, met many people, and talked with people from all ranks, and I must say that it gave me lessons to learn and a history of my own to carry on. Surely, I am not the only one who passed through this way. There are many out there who walked a similar path to mine. However, the past is the past. The show must go on. We must live on for a better future.

I believe that everyone deserves happiness, especially in a hard time like this. Whatever took you to where you are now, or whatever you did, we are still obliged to build a better future. It’s on us, on every individual. Happiness is within us. But without realizing it as it is, I don’t think we can have it. That’s why that kind of moment is very crucial.

Under this pandemic period, it’s such a challenge to make a film and I must say a bit more in creating documentary where and when it requires personal contact and interviews. Therefore, I used all the resources within my reach, collected all the footage, and worked with people around me in this lockdown. Though it was hard to go out and shoot, I did it safely and most importantly I did it without passing any burden to those who helped me. Without their goodwill and contribution, I would not make this. I must express my gratitude for them at any given chance. It is not only a documentary about me but also a milestone of a young woman who had attained an ability to see her life as a whole picture and as it is.